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Discovering Bondage 

Please note: The activities and methods described in these writeups do not always represent safe, sane, or consensual practice of BDSM or sex, and are not intended as models for your own personal play.

Peace, Security, Safety, Comfort

 Not words one usually associates with extreme bondage.

This is my happy place, though. Itís a zone where I can completely relax my body and brain. The tighter the constriction, the more restricted my limbs are, the less I have to *think* and can allow myself to relax those all too tight bindings of self control. ďPermissionĒ so to speak. Losing the actual ability to move in any way, shape or form, gives me the permission I need to detach from the real world and drift in a warm comfortable cocoon of safety and security. 

As a young child, I would roll myself in my blankets and quilts until I could barely wiggle. I would roll myself off my bed onto some pillows on the floor between the wall and the bed and drift away happily into sleep. Of course Mom thought it was a pain to untangle me in the morning, but she never got truly angry. Just a bit perturbed at my messing up the covers.    I didnít do it often, at least I donít remember doing it a lot, but I do remember the warm comforting feeling of being hugged all night long.  


I discovered bondage late in life. I hadnít even really fantasized about it or thought about my *swaddling* of myself in times of stress as being bondage. 

It was simply the only way I had found to calm my mind and body enough to relax enough to meditate. I have one of those minds that seem to run on high octane 99% of the time. When life starts becoming overwhelming, I need a way to shut down all the processing until I can get my perspective back. It was a therapist I was seeing when I was in the process of ending my 14 year marriage who first mentioned the correlation of my swaddling myself with some forms of bondage. Being the liberal minded person I was, I didnít *gasp* in shock at the suggestion, but decided to do some research instead. One of the first *hits* I got on the internet was the House of Gord. That was my first view of extreme bondage. I knew this was an area I needed to explore more, but I wasnít about to allow strangers to put me in what I could tell was an extremely vulnerable position. Who knew what awful things they may want to do to me!!   Considering some of what I could see on the internet, I realized I had to educate myself before I would ever feel comfortable allowing someone else to take me *there*. 


I entered the world of BDSM through a wonderful organization, Black Rose in Washington DC in March of 1998. I didnít come into this through a need for sexual expression or acceptance. Those were bonuses I discovered as I was allowed to learn and grow as an individual. Iím a very assertive and social person, so I didnít have any problem asking questions, requesting *demos* and being cute and perky helped a lot too. 

I soon found someone I connected with on a more intimate level and then the real fun began....


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© Ladyjo
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